What is the mental state of the mother having to conceive a child that is not socially sanctioned?
Just as many perceived about the wrongdoings and for some religions, baby dumping cases were seen as a sin. One may ask, why would the mothers of the babies do it? How would the mothers feel to give birth to a child who is not socially sanctioned or acceptable to the society? Looking at the mothers' perspectives, how could nine months of carriage when mothers who had developed this maternal bond with their baby decides to throw away their flesh and blood in their stomach? The stress and pains during pregnancy, are these insufficient to love and care for the baby? In fact, there are times where throwing a child needs great courage. The mother of the child may be in callous state. They may be burdened with the fear of taking care of the child, financially unstable, and not ready to hold up responsibilities.
Strictly Femail, one oldest surviving private newspaper in Nigeria conducted a vox survey asking women from different walks of life reasons some mothers abandon their babies. Some of the excerpts are as belows:
Omotolani Fatola, medical practitioner: - Women have different reasons for abandoning their babies. It could be that they were not married, it might be that somebody impregnates them and refuses to take responsibility of the child, it could probably be because of poverty.
Although it is not right; to them, they have a reason. Some other women abandon their babies because they are not ready for them in the first place; they might have conceived them by mistake when they are teenagers. You can imagine a girl of 13 years getting pregnant, she wouldn’t want her parents to know, she could run off to a relative for a cover and after delivery, she either throws it away or abandons it.
Olamide Daise, student: - I think women abandon their babies because they have no money to take care of them. Sometimes, the pregnancies are unwanted; some don’t have fathers to claim the children, while to others, their parents would be too embarrassed if they give birth to a fatherless child.
Janet Gabriel, lawyer : Women abandon their babies for so many reasons. First, because the pregnancy is sudden and they don’t have means of livelihood. Second, they simply don’t want to be responsible; they feel the child is just a kind of burden to them.
Juliana Festus, banker: - Personally, I believe the only reason a woman can abandon her baby is in a case of rape. The woman might not be able to keep the baby because of shame and the fact that it might be a source of pain to her in the future whenever she remembers her ordeal; to love and care for such child would be difficult. She might, however, decide to abandon the baby, hoping that it may get someone to love and care for him/her.
Ayo Ajayi, teacher: Women who abandon their babies are shameless and wicked. How would you conceive a child for nine months and later dispose it? Some people, out of pretence, say that they didn’t know they were pregnant until it matures to a stage they wouldn’t be able to abort it; this is a lie, an unpardonable lie. How would you not know you were pregnant and why not protect yourself or abstain in the first place? Didn’t they know that 99 per cent of unprotected sex leads to pregnancy? Some have looked for children for many years without any, yet some are busy abandoning theirs. They should be thankful to God because He is merciful, if not, I would say some people don’t really deserve any child at all. This action is borne out of human wickedness and anybody who does it deserves to be hanged.
Seyi Sokefun, student: – Personally, I feel any woman who abandons a baby is heartless. Why go through nine months of pregnancy and eventually dump the child? Why not abort it from the start? Imagine the stress and pains during pregnancy, are these not enough to love and care for the baby? I just can’t imagine doing something like that; it is totally wrong in the sight of God and He will not forgive anyone that is involved in such act.
Giveth Onaviaye,youth corps member: Women should not have any reason to abandon their babies. Any woman who does that is either insane or useless. She must be put in the asylum for immediate medical treatment. For no reason should any woman, no matter what condition, abandon her baby If they can endure the nine month of pregnancy and watch the child grow, then, I don’t think it is sensible to abandon it later.
Ogunbanjo Margaret: To me, I think any woman who abandons her baby is a disgrace to motherhood. Such a woman must be a prostitute or a very irresponsible being. I see no reason under the sun that will prompt a woman to do such a wicked thing.
Olusegun Olugbesan, medical practitioner: Well, women abandon their babies most times based on ignorance and poverty. Some women are not aware that they are pregnant until it has passed terminating stage, so they wait till when they deliver the baby and then, abandon it.
Some just don’t have the means of taking care of such babies, so they dump them for those people who are in need.
Titi Alabi, fashion designer: I don’t blame women who abandon their babies beacause they would certainly have their reasons. Imagine a pregnancy you didn’t plan for and you don’t have the money to sustain yourself not to talk of the baby. We are all human beings, we make mistakes.
Titilayo Popoola, beautician: Personally, I think any woman who abandons her baby is probably callous. If you don’t have money or you are not ready for a child, why have sex? Is it not better if such women terminate the babies at the initial stage or stay away completely from sex?
Sex is for mature people who know what they are doing and can take responsibility for their actions. Yes, we all know abortion is murder, but how many abandoned babies would be found eventually? Remember those who do these things go to any length. Who knows how many lives have been lost on dunghills, or flushed in the toilet?
James Nwankwo, cleric: Any woman who aborts or abandons a child is a murderer and it is a grevious sin against God and mankind. These are sins crying to God for vengeance. I know many couples that had waited on the Lord for many years, yet no fruit of the womb. Some have given up hope and many homes are on the verge of breaking up because of this, yet some abandon their babies. What an irony of life! There should be no reason for a woman to neglect her child, even if she was raped. What people don’t know is that there is no pregnancy that is a mistake, God is interested in any sexual act you undertake, he might want to plant a glorious child in the union. Why destroy God’s plan and waste life and, most importantly, why test God by involving in unprotected sex? It is easy to have sex, but people are not ready to bear the consequences. I think women should think twice before they engage in this act, children are gifts from God.
Rosemary Daniel, accountant: It is not right for any woman to abandon her baby. Some women hide under the fact that they are poor.
There are preventions to take in order not to get pregnant, in fact, medical practi-tioners advise women on family planning in the hospitals; there are condoms and other preventive measures you can choose. It is a wicked act to carry a child for nine months and throw it away.
What if somebody finds that child and he/she becomes a hero or a superstar in the future, or what if the child is your only helper and what if the child is the one destined for you in life? That is why I don’t pity some who are looking for children later in life; who knows what they have done when they were young?
Juliana Festus, banker: - Personally, I believe the only reason a woman can abandon her baby is in a case of rape. The woman might not be able to keep the baby because of shame and the fact that it might be a source of pain to her in the future whenever she remembers her ordeal; to love and care for such child would be difficult. She might, however, decide to abandon the baby, hoping that it may get someone to love and care for him/her.
Ayo Ajayi, teacher: Women who abandon their babies are shameless and wicked. How would you conceive a child for nine months and later dispose it? Some people, out of pretence, say that they didn’t know they were pregnant until it matures to a stage they wouldn’t be able to abort it; this is a lie, an unpardonable lie. How would you not know you were pregnant and why not protect yourself or abstain in the first place? Didn’t they know that 99 per cent of unprotected sex leads to pregnancy? Some have looked for children for many years without any, yet some are busy abandoning theirs. They should be thankful to God because He is merciful, if not, I would say some people don’t really deserve any child at all. This action is borne out of human wickedness and anybody who does it deserves to be hanged.
Seyi Sokefun, student: – Personally, I feel any woman who abandons a baby is heartless. Why go through nine months of pregnancy and eventually dump the child? Why not abort it from the start? Imagine the stress and pains during pregnancy, are these not enough to love and care for the baby? I just can’t imagine doing something like that; it is totally wrong in the sight of God and He will not forgive anyone that is involved in such act.
Giveth Onaviaye,youth corps member: Women should not have any reason to abandon their babies. Any woman who does that is either insane or useless. She must be put in the asylum for immediate medical treatment. For no reason should any woman, no matter what condition, abandon her baby If they can endure the nine month of pregnancy and watch the child grow, then, I don’t think it is sensible to abandon it later.
Ogunbanjo Margaret: To me, I think any woman who abandons her baby is a disgrace to motherhood. Such a woman must be a prostitute or a very irresponsible being. I see no reason under the sun that will prompt a woman to do such a wicked thing.
Olusegun Olugbesan, medical practitioner: Well, women abandon their babies most times based on ignorance and poverty. Some women are not aware that they are pregnant until it has passed terminating stage, so they wait till when they deliver the baby and then, abandon it.
Some just don’t have the means of taking care of such babies, so they dump them for those people who are in need.
Titi Alabi, fashion designer: I don’t blame women who abandon their babies beacause they would certainly have their reasons. Imagine a pregnancy you didn’t plan for and you don’t have the money to sustain yourself not to talk of the baby. We are all human beings, we make mistakes.
Titilayo Popoola, beautician: Personally, I think any woman who abandons her baby is probably callous. If you don’t have money or you are not ready for a child, why have sex? Is it not better if such women terminate the babies at the initial stage or stay away completely from sex?
Sex is for mature people who know what they are doing and can take responsibility for their actions. Yes, we all know abortion is murder, but how many abandoned babies would be found eventually? Remember those who do these things go to any length. Who knows how many lives have been lost on dunghills, or flushed in the toilet?
James Nwankwo, cleric: Any woman who aborts or abandons a child is a murderer and it is a grevious sin against God and mankind. These are sins crying to God for vengeance. I know many couples that had waited on the Lord for many years, yet no fruit of the womb. Some have given up hope and many homes are on the verge of breaking up because of this, yet some abandon their babies. What an irony of life! There should be no reason for a woman to neglect her child, even if she was raped. What people don’t know is that there is no pregnancy that is a mistake, God is interested in any sexual act you undertake, he might want to plant a glorious child in the union. Why destroy God’s plan and waste life and, most importantly, why test God by involving in unprotected sex? It is easy to have sex, but people are not ready to bear the consequences. I think women should think twice before they engage in this act, children are gifts from God.
Rosemary Daniel, accountant: It is not right for any woman to abandon her baby. Some women hide under the fact that they are poor.
There are preventions to take in order not to get pregnant, in fact, medical practi-tioners advise women on family planning in the hospitals; there are condoms and other preventive measures you can choose. It is a wicked act to carry a child for nine months and throw it away.
What if somebody finds that child and he/she becomes a hero or a superstar in the future, or what if the child is your only helper and what if the child is the one destined for you in life? That is why I don’t pity some who are looking for children later in life; who knows what they have done when they were young?
above excerpts are views and opinions extracted from different respondents.
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